Where the Hell is Spring?!
current location: Work Cave
current mood: cheerful
current song: 88.5
I feel much better today. I told Jason exactly how I felt about everything. I told him he should pretend I don't exist and pick his school that way. It would be easier for both of us. He could go where ever he wanted, rent a little efficiency apartment/room, work parttime, and go to school, without having to worry about everything that comes with a relationship. I can stay here, continue to save money, and hopefully move into the city sooner rather than later. I know this doesn't sound good at all, but I feel like a weight's been lifted. I won't have to worry about moving costs. I can continue to pad my savings account. As soon as we both realize that visiting each other is impossible, (he won't be willing to come here, and I won't have the money to go there), I'm not sure what will happen. I'm sad about that part, but it would be easier to make a clean break. For right now though, I'm looking out for number 1. :) I'm gonna start poking around Philly and see what kinds of apartments I can find for cheap. There's gotta be something. So... I made nice, and now Jason can also look out for his number 1. I'll probably end up breaking this off in the summer or so, if he doesn't do it before hand. We'll see.
Or maybe my dreams will come true and he'll realize that he really does want me in his life and will work with me to figure out a solution. Don't worry... I'm not holding my breath on that.
I think my car is dying. My dad said that it seems to be burning oil. So I can either look for a new car, or hope that I have enough money to buy a new engine for my current car. I hope it doesn't die soon. I don't have that much money right now. I could probably take out a loan, but I definitely don't want to do that. We'll see.
I also want a new laptop. The drives on my current one have stopped working. The speakers have been dead since it turned 1 year. And now, not even my headphones work sometimes. It's pretty beat up too. I know I can afford a new laptop right now, but then I wouldn't stand a chance with getting a new car if my Saturn dies. Ugh.
Decisions, decisions. I'll figure it out. There's gotta be a way! ;)