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My Consistency is Lacking

November 6th, 2011 (09:04 pm)

current location: home
current mood: content
current song: Theme song to Boardwalk Empire

I'm sure no one will be surprised if I start this with, "I don't remember the last time I wrote in this!"  I'm sorry to be so cliche, but as always, every time I get back to this journal, my entire life has changed around since the last entry.  Maybe someday, I'll add this site to my favorites and actually remember my password for once!

Speaking of consistency, I'm running my first half marathon in 14 days.  I started training in the summer, but my training program has not been consistent.  It's my biggest problem with most anything.  Unless it is scheduled in my day, it doesn't happen.  I sat here wondering why I was such a good athlete in high school... it was because I attended practice every day at 245!  It was part of my schedule and I was peer pressured by my fellow teammates.  With work and school now, (and a training partner that works two jobs and is rarely around once the school year starts), scheduling training revolves around when the sun comes up and how much sleep I'm willing to give up.  I keep telling myself that it won't be that way forever, but that doesn't help me in the 14 days left, leading up to the Philly Half!

I guess the last time I did write here, I had a boyfriend who was whiny and a job that made me cry all the time.  Toward the end of that relationship, the boy made me cry all the time too.  Nothing I did was ever good enough for him.  And I always thought I had a pretty solid and fun personality!  So, surprise surprise, it didn't work out.  I always had an inkling it wouldn't, and planned to just date him for fun.  As long as I was having fun, life was good.  It ended up not being fun.  The breakup was messy and I felt like I was in middle school again!  It couldn't have been a nice conversation about how we're not compatible.  No.  It had to happen because I didn't let him hang out with his ex, (which is untrue, but didn't matter at the time).  Also, I didn't have enough friends.  The excuses were strange and I had no idea where they were coming from.  Oh, and he used the whole, it's not you, it's me line.  That just pissed me off.  Can't people ever just say what they want to say?!  I would have respected him more if he told me I gained some weight and he was no longer attracted to me!  It would hurt, but I would understand.

It took over a year, but he finally admitted that he cut it off so easily, (he had all my stuff from his house packed up in a box in his trunk), was because HE needed it that way.  HE wanted to minimize HIS pain in the break up and therefore, did what he thought would make him feel better.  I always knew he was selfish, but I didn't think he was this selfish, or childish!  I can clean my stuff out of his place without destroying things.  I had already told him I wanted the wok when we split.  And that if he was planning on breaking up with me, I wanted a fancy expensive dinner when he broke the news.  I got a Wawa sandwich in my backyard.  Bastard.

Despite the unfortunate pain that accompanies any breakup, it was the best thing that had ever happened to me.  He wasn't a big fan of who I was, and I wasn't planning on changing.  I'm back to being who I am, and it feels SO good.  I'm also enjoying being single.  I don't have to wake up early to renovate my guy's house when all I want to do is go for a run!!  I don't have to listen to him whine about his ex!  I don't have to spend my days off driving him to his doc appts or explain to him why Sunday is for football.  (It's not the only day for football, but I was lucky if I got just one!)

I saw a neurologist for my frequent migraines right before the breakup.  Turns out a lot of the headaches were a result of extended stress from the crappy relationship.  The only reason I went to see the neurologist was because the migraines were more frequent than before and more severe.  I have a wonderful preventative I take now, and cannot remember the last time I had a migraine.  It's wonderful what modern science can do!

So onto more good things!  I quit that horrendous job only weeks after my last entry.  I was followed closely by my good friend there, and the office slowly fell apart.  We were a good team.  People dealing with the office now have lots of complaints.  I guess we were just awesome.  Too bad management didn't treat us like we were awesome!  Anyway, I was out of work for several months, doing the waitress circuit, when I received an odd call from my boss at the credit union I used to work at in college.  One of his coordinators had a brain aneurism and was in a coma.  The department tried to keep up with her work, but were quickly falling behind.  He asked if I would be interested in temp work.  The call came just in time; my savings was dwindling and waitressing was getting old, fast.  

The temp job turned into a full time permanent one with a promotion and pay raise, and I've been there ever since.  My job now is less loan servicing and more legal work.  I love it.  It is low stress and low responsibility.  That equals less money, but waking up not dreading work is worth so much more.  I'm slowly working my way up the hierarchy and seem to be on the good side of management.  My reviews are still good, but now they lead to monetary increases!  (What a novel concept!)

In addition to the new job, I got into a graduate program.  I'm studying political science, (required for my desired job in the Dept of State), and will graduate in the spring.  I can't wait.  Being a student sucks.  I'm stressed a lot, I'm always behind in my schoolwork, and the end of the semester is entirely too exciting, (and short).  I think I've simply grown out of it.  I've finished paying for it, (thank goodness... just paid for the spring semester the other day!), and kind of dread when I graduate.  I'll have about $55,000 in school debt.  I know, with many of the kids graduating now, that's practically nothing, but it's still a lot for my debt to income ratio!  I have an idea how I'll pay for it, but it'll just mean less travel, which will hurt.

I've taken up photography as a hobby and am enjoying it immensely.  How do you have time for a hobby, one may wonder!  Well, it is not one that gets much of my attention these days.  I work long days, go to school twice a week, and spend all my weekends doing laundry, going food shopping, and reading until my eyes fall out.  All very exciting, but I feel it will be worth it in the end.

The accounting manager at my job has a tattoo across his stomach.  He's about my age, tall, thin, and majored in accounting.  The tattoo caught me by surprise and his flashing it was accidental, flashed while hanging something from the ceiling on our floor.  Odd little tidbit, but one that makes me smile when I randomly think about it.

This fall, I managed to find the best pumpkin beer yet.  I had had it a couple years ago at a bar in 30th St Station, but couldn't find it anywhere else.  This year, the brewer's outlet nearby had some.  It's called Southampton Pumpkin beer, and I highly recommend it!  It's only a touch pumpkin, and keeps the refreshing light beer taste.  LOVE IT.

In addition, the Mt. Holly Winery's Sangria is also incredible.  I make sure I buy a lot every fall when I go to the Renaissance Faire.  When you're older than 6, the wine and beer is really the only reason to go.  I also recommend all of those.  The meaning of fall is listed in these last two paragraphs!

Since I'm enjoying a pumpkin beer at the moment, here's to remembering my password and making more frequent journal entries!